Not much out of Mets camp: Asides from an uneventful battle for the #5 spot in the rotation, and Jerry’s abandonment of having Reyes hitting 3rd, all is banal in Port St. Lucie these days.

That being said, lets have some fun with some hypotheticals…

In light of pundits talking about inflated numbers as a result of the steriod era, and after listening to how baseball needs to redeem its name after the Mitchell Report, one might forget that, back in the 1980’s, MLB suffered a serious blow to its reputation during the cocaine crisis, one which was also detailed in the Mitchell Report.

So, here’s an interesting topic up for debate: who would win a 7 game series: The all-steroid team, or the all-cocaine team?

All steroid team:

P: Roger Clemens
C: Todd Hundley
1B: Mark McGwire
2B: Fernando Vina
3B: Ken Caminetti (1995 NL MVP)
SS: Alex Rodriguez
OF: Barry Bonds
OF: Sammy Sosa
OF: Jose Canseco
DH: Raphael Palmeiro
RP: Eric Gagne

All coke team:

P: Dwight Gooden: The epitome of a self destructive celebrity. On one occasion in 1986, Doc took the mound so hopped up on amphetamines that, when a batter grounded a ball back to the pitchers mound on one play, he saw two baseballs and had to guess which was real. Luckily, he stabbed at the right one and got out of the inning. 
C: Darrell Porter: A Royals catcher during the 80’s, his nickname was “Double-Barrell Darrell” because he admitted to staying up at night armed with a shotgun and billiard balls, paranoid that then MLB Commissioner Bowie Kuhn would personally break into his house to catch him using cocaine. Became a born again christian, but died of an OD in 2002.
1B: Keith Hernandez: Former NL MVP and Hair Club for Men spokesperson testified to a grand jury during the Pittsburgh Trials that “Cocaine is the devil on this earth.”
2B: Enos Cabel: A former infielder for the Astros and Dodgers, he testified that his cocaine use reached its apex in 1981. Why, you ask? “That was the strike year and we weren’t playing and I had nothing to do.”
3B: Ken Caminetti: Former NL MVP
SS: Ozzie Smith: Probably not true… but a neat idea, right? I mean…those back flips! No, the Wiz was not a coke head – but if you can think of any Shortstops that were, please advise!
LF: Lonnie Smith: He admitted to buying a gun to murder former Royals and current Braves GM John Schuerholz. Also, he drilled the Phillie Phanatic with an open field tackle after the mascot mocked him during a game – a single act that makes him my favorite player of all time.
CF: Tim Raines: “Rock” claimed that always dove head first when he stole a base so he wouldn’t break the bag of coke in his back pocket.
RF: Darryl Strawberry: Former all star, 4 time world series champion, he recently told reporters that he would “definitely” do steroids to get a leg up on the competition. Imagine his numbers if he juiced!
DH: Josh Hamilton: Former #1 overall draft choice, suspended twice for coke and heroin abuse before he even played an inning in the show. Now, he’s arguably one of the best run producers in baseball.
RP: Steve Howe: He was suspended 7 times over his career for drug related incidents. When he retired, he became a born-again christian, only to die in a truck crash with meth in his system.

I think the juicers would beat the coke heads in a 4 game sweep. Just listen to Mike Schmidt in this 1986 PSA:

Cheers.